Perhaps my craziest “What Are This?” moments happen within the most unappealing part of college… the public restrooms. They’re not as bad as you’d think. Although, sharing bathrooms with fifty other teenage guys is not exactly the best part of the college experience.

First of all there is cleanliness. I would like to personally thank the cleaning staff in my dormitory, because I COULD NOT do what you do on a daily basis. You’re a gift from God. However, you can only be so clean when using the same facilities as fifty other college students. Henceforth, wearing shoes to the shower and putting toilet paper down every time I have to take care of business took some adapting to.

Brushing your teeth next to other people is, well… kind of awkward. You’re all standing there and you don’t want to be rude and not communicate yet you’re all unable to speak because you’re foaming at the mouth with Crest and an Oral-B. So words come out like “Whhaashhh upp?”

There are only two temperatures for the water in my dorm’s showers… freezing and scalding. If you miraculously get a happy medium between the two, then they have a tendency to have little hiccups which I like to call “Hot Pockets.” These pockets are random bursts of water that cause third degree burns. You never expect them because there is no consistency between them. You may have one at the beginning of your shower and one at the end or you may have three pockets during a fifteen second interval. Regardless, they keep showers interesting.

I would also like to address the person on my floor who has a serious shedding problem. My goodness. Get help! At the rate you’re going, you will be bald by graduation! Your long, dark locks are neither pleasing to your fellow dorm-mates nor their shower drains!

I promise, college restrooms are not that bad, just a little unorthodox. However, I will be a happy camper when I move to better housing next year and I can have a private bathroom.