I recently had to purchase chalk for an organization on my campus. Needing specific colors, I wanted to go somewhere that had a wide selection so I wouldn’t be forced to buy the cheap variety packs and, therefore, be stuck with a surplus of unwanted oranges and yellows. My friend, Nicky (a character to say the least), went chalk hunting with me. While passing stores left and right, we came upon a Trees-N-Trends.

“Trees-N-Trends!” Nicky jolted, “That might have chalk!”

Being the eighteen-year-old guy I am, I had neither been in, nor had a desire to be in a Trees-N-Trends. So I did not know if there would be chalk inside. Nevertheless, I turned into the parking lot. Literally when we walked through the door, Nicky froze, awestricken with these exact words…

“Oh my…

we’ve found Narnia.”

In my life, I have never seen so many fake trees!

Palm trees.

Maple trees.

Christmas trees.

Beyond the trees was a raging garden of fake flowers and beyond the fake flowers was a sanctuary for fake birds and other fake woodland creatures! I was somewhat disturbed. While walking around and looking for chalk we encountered a vast collection of Christmas decorations, mostly hung upon more fake trees. When we finally reached the craft section, no crafts were to be found except floral designs, crochet patterns, and other old-lady pastimes.

“There’s no chalk in here,” I muttered.

Nicky’s reply was, “I knew there probably wouldn’t be.” Dumbfounded, I asked her why she wanted to check the place out. She said, “Well, just because we pass this place all the time and I just wanted to see what was inside. Now I know it’s all spray-painted forestry and random Christmas novelties.”

After having one of those “What are this?” moments, battling my way back through the illusion of a forest, and politely smiling at all the elderly women at the check-out line, I finally exited and felt the need to do something manly like talk about sports or spit. We eventually made it to a Wal-Mart to buy, yes, the variety packs of chalk with all the unwanted oranges and yellows. Returning to campus Nicky’s words were as follows…

“Well, that was an adventure.”