Will You Marry Me?

My brother’s wedding was over the weekend and I was a groomsman in his wedding party. I’m not trying to be all soft, but the ceremony was actually very touching and beautiful. The extravagant reception featured a monumental tent, punch fountain, dance floor, and over 500 lights strung perfectly throughout the area. Props to the bro and new sister-in-law, because it was probably the nicest wedding I’ve ever been to.

However, a thought occurred to me during the event: why do we do the things we do at weddings? Seriously? It’s a special day and should be celebrated to the utmost perfection, but what’s with all the hoopla?

Imagine describing an American wedding to someone from another culture…

Two people invite everyone they know to a place to become one, yet when everyone gets to this place, they are segregated according to which person they know. The two people coming together are about to bond for hopefully the rest of their lives, yet they’re not supposed to see each other until the very moment of their vows. A boy called a “ring bearer” carries a pillow for the couples’ rings, but normally said pillow does not contain the rings because someone in the wedding party usually has them instead. Besides having those rings and assisting the couple in the before-and-after wedding processes, the wedding party is basically only there to look pretty. Then a girl scatters pedals on the floor just for the bride (who is in a dress that the groom also cannot see) to step on. The actual ceremony takes place after that.

When the ceremony has concluded, a reception is held where everyone eats but they do not mingle much because after all, they’re likely to know hardly anyone else there. A teetering cake is served, but the people who were just eternally bonded must feed each other. While the couple is not looking, a few of their friends try to “secretly” vandalize their vehicle, yet the bride and groom know it is going to happen (this may or may not include placing sardines around the engine). A bouquet of flowers and a lacey accessory are thrown to the people who have not yet endured such a process. Last but not least, while the happy couple is trying to leave, their invited family and friends throw things at them.

That just sounds a little bizarre.

But then again, what would a wedding be without these things? They’re just part of the process that we as Americans know we’re supposed to do. They’re part of what make the day so special.

So here’s to wishing my big brother and my wonderful new sister-in-law the best of luck. As far as the sardines around the engine of the getaway car go… I would just like to say that I was not the main culprit.

(Although, I did help.)

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