Well this last week has been my Spring Break. It was my first Spring Break of college and you know what that means: I’ve gotten craaaazy!!!

I’ve spent every morning regretting the night before, consisting of late hours and excessive drinking. I have drank more than I ever have before and my motto has been “Turn down for what?” I probably shouldn’t be telling you this but I’ve even done a few drugs too. It’s Spring Break though; don’t judge me! The drugs weren’t even the best part… they couldn’t hold a light to stripping. That’s right. I’ve seen so many people strip this week and I’m proud of it. I loved it so much that I also stripped. I stripped it all off. I got paid for it and I’ve been told that I’m a great stripper. You read it right. I spent my Spring Break STRIPPING.

I’m not kidding. Sadly, the previous paragraph is 100% true. Before you completely terminate your moral opinion of me, let me give you all the details. Don’t worry. I’ll keep them “PG.”

My late hours and morning regrets have been due to extreme Netflix and Hulu binging. Not partying. I’ve been close to welcoming daylight hours more times than once over the past week. I have done a lot of drinking, but it’s not exactly been hard stuff. You probably know that I can’t drink Mello Yello until Easter (see previous post). This week, I have band-aided my addiction by replacing Mello Yello with sweet tea… and boy have I chugged a lot of it this week. I would like to set the record straight and say that I do not do drugs. Comprende? That’s how rumors get started: people spread words first and listen for comedic explanations later. I have NOT done drugs… except those prescribed to me by the doctor for my sinus infection (see other previous post).

As far as the stripping goes – believe it or not – I also have an explanation. My grandparents are completely redoing their home. We’re talking major face-lift. One of the changes they’re making is replacing their carpet with hardwood. And what must be done to that carpet before the hardwood can be implemented? That’s right. I’ve spent a good section of my break stripping carpet from my grandparents’ floors. They paid me a nice little chunk and were grateful for my help.

Sorry to disappoint. I had you going at the beginning didn’t I? So my Spring Break wasn’t as exciting as some college students’. It also wasn’t as ridiculous. I shiver to think about that random family of a lawyer dad, soccer mom, and 2.5 kids, driving innocently to Panama City in their minivan for a quiet vacation, only to be exposed to the chaos of collegiate spring-time this week. There are a plethora of people who can’t even remember their Spring Breaks. I think I’ll take sweet tea and carpet over theirs any day.