Every now and then I get a hankering for Chinese (All the types of chicken, that is. I’m not a big vegetable person.), but I’m extremely picky about it. To me, not all Chinese food is good Chinese food. While strolling down the frozen department at Wal-Mart, I was excited to see microwave-ready General Tso’s Chicken. I imagined the mouth-watering goodness of the dish from my favorite Chinese restaurant. So I decided to try it.

A week or two had gone by before I remembered the package in the freezer. I popped it in the microwave and added the special sauce to notice an unusual odor. I just thought it was one of those “smell weird, taste delicious” things.

So I took a bite. Just A bite.

Don’t do it. Don’t force your taste buds to endure the torment of frozen soy sauce. Spend the extra money and drive to a Chinese restaurant for the love of everything good in this world.

I literally gagged. I chugged a soda afterwards but the taste would not escape me. All I could smell was that fake flavoring as well. It was agonizing.

The next day I came down to the kitchen for a snack, but I could still smell that stench. There was a reason for that.

My mom’s words were: “I warmed up the rest of that chicken. It’s pretty good.”